How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?

"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote

Any other suggestions?

Keep your hand gun on your person,
from the moment you leave home for the airport.

On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.

On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.

"The Rifleman" wrote in message
...

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.

Now, watch out... Europeans aren't to accepting of this behavior.
It makes them look dishonest, sneaky, biased, lying, racist,
money grubbing, and it also makes them smell, really bad.

BfB

"The Rifleman" wrote in message
...
Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.



"Dignifide"????

GoldenArse
SCI Spell Checker

Following up to The Rifleman

proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.

being a "proud american" will not go down well. Diplomacy often
beats straight talking when a guest.
--
Mike Reid
"Art is the lie that reveals the truth" P.Picasso
Wasdale-Lake district-Thames path-London "http://www.fellwalk.co.uk" -- you can email us@ this site
Eat-walk-Spain "http://www.fell-walker.co.uk" -- dontuse@ all, it's a spamtrap

What's wrong with being American?

If someone has a problem with that then that is their own problem not
yours.

While In Europe stick in white, Christian, European zones, avoid
ghettos, Arabs or anyone who looks a little dusky, wears a long shirt
and is ticking.

If in Britain avoid parts of big cities, such as Manningham in
Bradford, Glodwick in Oldham, anywhere in Birmingham etc, they have
many Muslims and the police are not allowed to give assistance if you
are accosted.

You should in general be OK in Europe with Europeans and the British.
Good luck.