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How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?



 
 
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  #1  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:15 AM
Mean Mr Mustard
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?
  #2  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:23 AM
fred_eg_bowinatuck
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Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote

Any other suggestions?


Keep your hand gun on your person,
from the moment you leave home for the airport.


  #3  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:28 AM
Lawrence Glickman
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?


Grow some balls and walk like a man
  #4  
Old June 6th, 2004, 08:15 AM
The Independent
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling inEurope?

Why are you doing business with the sons of bitches????



Mean Mr Mustard wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?


--
The Independent of Clackamas County, Oregon

"The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of
speeches and majority decisions ... but by iron and blood."

(Otto Von Bismarck, Speech, Sept. 30, 1862.)
  #5  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:16 AM
Mike O'sullivan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
m...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.


11. Lose 200 pounds
12. Eat green vegetables openly
13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.



  #6  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:20 AM
Welsh Witch
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, Mean Mr Mustard wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?

************************************************** **********
Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
abroad:-)
Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
I think
you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
holiday...
***************************

  #7  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:29 AM
Maria
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.


Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
tourists?


That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:


1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.


Tailored English suit will make you look like a raving capitalist or
nobby landowner.

2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone


Only in England or Finland.

3. Show no emotion No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.


You *will* stick out like a sore thumb then!

4. Do not leave the hotel except for business When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.


Which part of Europe are you going to? Napoli?

5. No American greetings "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.


Do Americans really say that?

6. No hand gestures when talking especially no pointing


Except in Italy.

7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.


Lol...I must visit America...sounds most amusing!

8. "Bob's Your Uncle" Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?


Taking all your clothes off would probably be more effective and would
guarantee instant protection by policemen.

9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"


No-one cares.

10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.


Come to England where most people wouldn't be able to tell the
difference.

Any other suggestions?


How about paranoia therapy?
  #8  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:33 AM
Maria
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 09:20:46 +0100, Welsh Witch
wrote:

Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
abroad:-)


He could take me - all purpose English British Italian Arab Asian
looking women who appears as a native whichever country she travels
to!

Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)


Yes we do - you live in the country.

I think
you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
holiday...
***************************



  #9  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:44 AM
Peter File
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.


Lose some weight.
Try to remember that in Europe we don't have 30lb steaks for dinner.
Drive a car that is more economical then a 15 ton SUV that does around 10
gallons to the mile.
When entering a sports bar, never ask if thay can put on the baseball.


  #10  
Old June 6th, 2004, 09:48 AM
The Rifleman
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.


Suits only for appointments
Jeans or Chinos for casual
No Bright gaudy shirts
Cheap watch
No bug bags ( fanny packs in US parlance)
Use only a small digital camera you can keep in your pocket ( look round you
first to make sure you aint being targeted)
and the best cammo for europe? a soccer shirt of the nation you are visiting
for casual dress
dont cut your hair US style with sideburns cut to top of ear, grow them to
halfway down your ear,
Leave a few bucks in your wallet and an expired credit card, keep your cash
and card UK style in your inside pockets.

2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone

Dead give away the LM yank scenario, its sadly very often true that one can
pick out theCanucks from the yanks becauise the former are polite and well
mannered and say please and thank you.

3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.


********
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.


Rubbish
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.


More Rubbish
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing


Correct , pointing is bad mannered.

7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.


You are not well travelled are you???

8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?


Try "what fettle the day lads" instead

9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?


Yes dont take american children with you, There ill manners and poor
discipline always give americans away

If you are white stay out of London and Birmingham

If you are Black dont leave London or Birmingham

Dont try queue jumping


 




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