Mamma's boys fuel Italy's soaring divorce rate...

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world...945801,00.html

Mamma's boys fuel Italy's soaring divorce rate


Barbara McMahon in Rome
Sunday November 12, 2006
The Observer


"Italy is experiencing an unprecedented rise in marriage break-ups,
according to a new report, with interfering mothers-in-law bearing a high
proportion of the blame.
A new poll by research institute Eures reveals a divorce happens every four
minutes in a country once regarded as a bastion of marriage.

In 2002, Italy recorded 50,828 divorces - a 45 per cent increase from 2000.
Marrying too young, squabbling over money and meeting new partners are often
cited for the rising divorce rate but three out of 10 marriages fail because
of the unusually close attachment of Italian men to their mothers.

Living in the same house or nearby, she puts strains on a couple's
relationship by meddling in their affairs, finding fault with her
daughter-in-law and treating her grown-up son as a child.

'In Italy there still exists a sort of mother love that is excessive,' said
psychologist Dr Annamaria Cassanese, who says she sees many disillusioned
daughters-in-law at her practice in Milan. 'It is a very Latin thing, deeply
embedded in our social structure. For example, you will see mothers crying
at the weddings of their sons, but they are not crying for joy, they are
crying because they feel devastated. Their son has chosen another woman and
it arouses very complex feelings, including jealousy.'

Cassanese points to two types of extreme Italian mother-in-law. One refuses
to give in to ageing and sees her daughter-in-law as a rival, the other has
dedicated her life to her family and expects payback for life.

Among the wiles of the latter type of mother-in-law is offering to do chores
such as cooking, ironing and babysitting. 'This can often be the beginning
of an invasion, in which the mother-in-law slowly takes over and undermines
the woman in her own home,' she says. 'What starts out being portrayed as
something that is helpful degenerates into outright intrusion such as going
into drawers and pulling out shirts that are not ironed "her way" or
monopolising the kitchen. Wives feel like strangers in their own homes
because the mother-in-law is always there.'

The fact that many Italian parents help out their children financially by
buying them apartments or cars can also lead them to expect something in
return, adds Dr Cassanese. She said many couples still obey invitations to
eat with their parents three or four times a week.

The concept of mammoni - sons who cling to apron strings - is well known in
Italy and it is not uncommon for men in their thirties and forties to live
with their parents. The reasons are partly economic but also come about
because boys are indulged well into adulthood in a way that would not be
acceptable in other countries. Italian men who remain close to their mothers
are emotionally immature, according to Dr Cassanese:

'The husband is used to being adored and when he doesn't get that
unconditional love from his wife, he goes running back to his mother.' She
has counselled women who complain their husbands phone their mothers too
often, discuss marital difficulties with them and make them feel
marginalised. She said struggling Italian couples should try to seek
professional help to get their marriages back on track before the damage
becomes irreversible.'

/

morrow seems bored
Still no gf ?
awwwww
OK then, let's pollute the group !

"Gregory Morrow" et a
écrit dans le message de news:
...

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world...945801,00.html

Mamma's boys fuel Italy's soaring divorce rate


Barbara McMahon in Rome
Sunday November 12, 2006
The Observer


"Italy is experiencing an unprecedented rise in marriage break-ups,
according to a new report, with interfering mothers-in-law bearing a high
proportion of the blame.
A new poll by research institute Eures reveals a divorce happens every
four
minutes in a country once regarded as a bastion of marriage.

In 2002, Italy recorded 50,828 divorces - a 45 per cent increase from
2000.
Marrying too young, squabbling over money and meeting new partners are
often
cited for the rising divorce rate but three out of 10 marriages fail
because
of the unusually close attachment of Italian men to their mothers.

Living in the same house or nearby, she puts strains on a couple's
relationship by meddling in their affairs, finding fault with her
daughter-in-law and treating her grown-up son as a child.

'In Italy there still exists a sort of mother love that is excessive,'
said
psychologist Dr Annamaria Cassanese, who says she sees many disillusioned
daughters-in-law at her practice in Milan. 'It is a very Latin thing,
deeply
embedded in our social structure. For example, you will see mothers crying
at the weddings of their sons, but they are not crying for joy, they are
crying because they feel devastated. Their son has chosen another woman
and
it arouses very complex feelings, including jealousy.'

Cassanese points to two types of extreme Italian mother-in-law. One
refuses
to give in to ageing and sees her daughter-in-law as a rival, the other
has
dedicated her life to her family and expects payback for life.

Among the wiles of the latter type of mother-in-law is offering to do
chores
such as cooking, ironing and babysitting. 'This can often be the beginning
of an invasion, in which the mother-in-law slowly takes over and
undermines
the woman in her own home,' she says. 'What starts out being portrayed as
something that is helpful degenerates into outright intrusion such as
going
into drawers and pulling out shirts that are not ironed "her way" or
monopolising the kitchen. Wives feel like strangers in their own homes
because the mother-in-law is always there.'

The fact that many Italian parents help out their children financially by
buying them apartments or cars can also lead them to expect something in
return, adds Dr Cassanese. She said many couples still obey invitations to
eat with their parents three or four times a week.

The concept of mammoni - sons who cling to apron strings - is well known
in
Italy and it is not uncommon for men in their thirties and forties to live
with their parents. The reasons are partly economic but also come about
because boys are indulged well into adulthood in a way that would not be
acceptable in other countries. Italian men who remain close to their
mothers
are emotionally immature, according to Dr Cassanese:

'The husband is used to being adored and when he doesn't get that
unconditional love from his wife, he goes running back to his mother.' She
has counselled women who complain their husbands phone their mothers too
often, discuss marital difficulties with them and make them feel
marginalised. She said struggling Italian couples should try to seek
professional help to get their marriages back on track before the damage
becomes irreversible.'

/