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Encounters with the TSA



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 5th, 2003, 11:44 AM
Lansbury
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

Last month fly from LHR to PDX out bound via LAX and home via ORD.

The flight out on UA was in 36 years of flying the very best experience
I have ever had. Excellant food and a crew whose service was second to
none.

At LAX we transferred terminals and had our first encounter this year
with the TSA. I was expecting to take my laptop out of the rack sack I
was carrying it in, one designed for computers and recommend by others
on this group. It did its job well except for this one time. It refused
to release the laptop for examination. Now why the TSA are incapable of
x-raying laptops in bags like most other security people I don't know
but of course the more I tugged the more stubborn the laptop/bag became.
An empty queue became a longish one and there was much teeth sucking and
tut tutting from the man behind Mrs Lansbury. The more he tutted the
more the laptop refused to slide out. In fact if the TSA guy had just
held the bottom of the rucksack it would have solved the problem but he
refused my polite request to do so and just stood there laughing at me.
In the end the guy in the queue tutted once too often and I enquired if
he had much money invested in his dental work. Solved the problem
because the laptop then popped out of the bag.

Placed my items in the tray and went towards the arch. As I did so I
took my cap off and held it so the TSA woman could see the inside. It is
normal in the UK to do this. She thrust a fist towards me and started
screaming but as she was incapable of speaking clear English and was
screaming I couldn't understand what she was saying. A guy behind me
came up and told me she wanted me to put my cap back on, which I did.
This resulted in her pushing me back as I went to go through the arch
and more screaming. The guy then said she wants you to take your cap off
walked back behind the yellow line on our side of the arch and put your
cap back on. This I did and went through no problems. Collected my gear
and turned to see where Mrs Lansbury was. She was on a chair, no shoes,
clothing in disarray being wanded by two TSA staff who had the wand up
the inside of her blouse and were not being careful as to want might be
being shown to the male passengers walking past. After much discussing
and wanding and prodding of her body, all in public view, they decided
her bra fastener had set the detector off and let her through. We
reached PDX without further incident but she was very embarrassed by the
fact that she had been searched in public view, she understood why but
not the how.

On the way home we checked in our four very large cases, Mrs Lansbury is
American and only buys her clothes when we are in the US not liking the
English fit or style, and promptly got selected to have them randomly
searched. The UA check in woman was very helpful directed me where to
take the cases while she finished printing out the luggage tags and then
came over, put them on the bags and gave us our boarding cards. The bags
were left to be checked as the TSA would then hand them bag to the
airline. There was more bags there then they could cope with and they
were first sorted into flight departure times, for checking later. In
fact they only opened one of the four bags, the one Mrs Lansbury had
packed her favourite brand of orange grease remover in which she swears
England has no equivalent of. The TSA had opened and then not screwed
the cap back on it properly so it had leaked over the contents of the
bag. Fortunately the bag with older clothing in and it washed out ok.

At security the laptop came out first time a good start I thought, I
emptied my pockets into the tray and went to walk through the arch, (no
cap this time it went in my carry on at check in). Stopped going through
the arch told to take my watch off. Place watch in another tray and go
to walk through the arch. Stopped and told to take my trouser belt off.
I said it hasn't caused any problems anywhere else and got told "We keep
our machines set on a much more sensitive setting than other
airports.You haven't travelled through Portland before". Not the sort of
thing to be saying in public, still go back take my watch off and put it
in a tray and go to walk through the arch. Get stopped for a third time
and told to take my shoes off. I do so go back put them in a tray and go
through the arch. As I go through I said to the guy wouldn't it have
been easier to mention all three items in one go to which he replied
"Teach you to do it properly next time". I amazed myself at the self
control I exhibited while I bite my tongue.

Spent a pleasant hour in the Red Carpet Club and go to the gate. As we
sit down the woman on the seat opposite reaches into her bag pulls out
her knitting along with two large knitting needles and proceeds to click
away. Which I think just about sums up the professionalism or lack
thereof of the TSA.
--
Lansbury
  #2  
Old November 5th, 2003, 12:30 PM
James Robinson
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

Lansbury wrote:

As we sit down the woman on the seat opposite reaches into her bag
pulls out her knitting along with two large knitting needles and
proceeds to click away. Which I think just about sums up the
professionalism or lack thereof of the TSA.


Knitting needles are now allowed by TSA rules, as are some types of
scissors and tweezers, but you can't carry a pair of pliers.

http://www.tsa.gov/interweb/assetlib..._16_2003v2.pdf

It just about sums up how arbitrary the rules are. I especially like
the following sections when juxtaposed:

- If you bring a prohibited item to the checkpoint, you may be
criminally and/or civilly
prosecuted ...

- To ensure everyone’s security, the screener may determine that an item
not on the
prohibited items chart is prohibited.

I also like this quote in another part of their site:

"TSA has instructed all Screeners that passengers are NOT required to
remove their shoes. However, if your shoes alarm while proceeding
through the metal detector, you will be subjected to a secondary
screening."

On a recent trip, the screeners were asking everyone to remove their
shoes "to speed up the screening process." I was wearing sneakers, and
said that they should be OK. I wore them through the magnetic detector,
which did not alarm, but was directed to secondary screening so they
could take a swab of my shoes. It's a catch 22, you don't have to take
of your shoes, but you will be automatically subjected to secondary
screening. How duplicitous can they get?
  #3  
Old November 5th, 2003, 01:23 PM
None
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

How about if you Doug & Wendy Whiner types just go to the TSA website, PRINT
a copy of the rules and carry them with you when you travel. That way, you
can argue with the TSA until the cows come home, or they toss you in a
holding pen.

ITS NOT GOING TO CHANGE! You are ALWAYS going to find a TSA screener who's
either on a power trip that day, or just plain on the rag. (never travel
the 3rd week of any month ;-)

Your choice is not to travel, but I highly suggest you think twice before
arguing with a TSA screener. Your civil rights don't mean SQUAT where
national security is concerned. Airport and airliner safety has been deemed
a National Security Issue, therefore, you don't have a leg to stand on, and
you're ****ed!

If the rules say you don't have to take off your shoes, TELL them, then SHOW
them their own rules. Then, please come back and report to us how well you
enjoyed having a fist shoved up your ass during your body cavity search for
being a security risk, or in the very least, a security dissenter.

Not everyone who objects to security has something to hide, but the TSA
screeners are trained to immediately suspect that they do. THERE CAN BE NO
public objection to the screening process that works, if a loop hole is
found, it has to be closed before some terrorist asshole uses it and the
next plane you are on takes a nose dive into your Aunt Minnie's high rise
apartment building!

The more people complain about certain issues, the more issues are added to
screener's routines. In other words, bitching only makes it worse.

In the alternative, go to Egypt and pull that bitch and complain **** on El
Al and see how long it takes you to get out of an Egyptian jail.

Welcome Aboard!



"James Robinson" wrote in message
...
Lansbury wrote:

As we sit down the woman on the seat opposite reaches into her bag
pulls out her knitting along with two large knitting needles and
proceeds to click away. Which I think just about sums up the
professionalism or lack thereof of the TSA.


Knitting needles are now allowed by TSA rules, as are some types of
scissors and tweezers, but you can't carry a pair of pliers.


http://www.tsa.gov/interweb/assetlib...10_16_2003v2.p
df

It just about sums up how arbitrary the rules are. I especially like
the following sections when juxtaposed:

- If you bring a prohibited item to the checkpoint, you may be
criminally and/or civilly
prosecuted ...

- To ensure everyone's security, the screener may determine that an item
not on the
prohibited items chart is prohibited.

I also like this quote in another part of their site:

"TSA has instructed all Screeners that passengers are NOT required to
remove their shoes. However, if your shoes alarm while proceeding
through the metal detector, you will be subjected to a secondary
screening."

On a recent trip, the screeners were asking everyone to remove their
shoes "to speed up the screening process." I was wearing sneakers, and
said that they should be OK. I wore them through the magnetic detector,
which did not alarm, but was directed to secondary screening so they
could take a swab of my shoes. It's a catch 22, you don't have to take
of your shoes, but you will be automatically subjected to secondary
screening. How duplicitous can they get?



  #4  
Old November 5th, 2003, 01:51 PM
Fustanella
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Default Encounters with the TSA

away. Which I think just about sums up the professionalism or lack
thereof of the TSA.


Which to me have been uniformly professional and even pleasant, without
exception.

Are you sure you don't attract such abuse for some reason?
  #5  
Old November 5th, 2003, 02:34 PM
lansbury
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

On Wed, 5 Nov 2003 12:51:10 +0000 (UTC), Fustanella
wrote:

Are you sure you don't attract such abuse for some reason?


as I do a similar job at a major international airport, I very much
doubt I attract any sort of abuse, as I appreciate the problems involved
in doing it.

Certainly in the way I was screamed at for removing my baseball cap, all
I did to attract the abuse was take it off.

--
Lansbury (LHR)
  #6  
Old November 5th, 2003, 02:38 PM
Mark Hewitt
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA


"lansbury" wrote in message
...
On Wed, 5 Nov 2003 12:51:10 +0000 (UTC), Fustanella
wrote:


Certainly in the way I was screamed at for removing my baseball cap, all
I did to attract the abuse was take it off.


Did you find out why she became so upset because you took your hat off?



  #7  
Old November 5th, 2003, 02:40 PM
lansbury
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

On Wed, 05 Nov 2003 06:30:34 -0500, James Robinson
wrote:

Knitting needles are now allowed by TSA rules, as are some types of
scissors and tweezers, but you can't carry a pair of pliers.

http://www.tsa.gov/interweb/assetlib..._16_2003v2.pdf


I like the first paragraph where is says prohibited items are seemingly
harmless but maybe used as weapons. They have never had to deal with a
knitting needle rammed through somebodies neck I guess.

--
Lansbury (LHR)
  #8  
Old November 5th, 2003, 02:47 PM
Lansbury
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

On Wed, 5 Nov 2003 13:38:36 -0000, "Mark Hewitt"
wrote:

Certainly in the way I was screamed at for removing my baseball cap, all
I did to attract the abuse was take it off.


Did you find out why she became so upset because you took your hat off?


No not a clue tried asking just got blanked, didn't feel like chancing
my arm by pushing the point.


--
Lansbury
  #9  
Old November 5th, 2003, 03:04 PM
Phil
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

lansbury wrote:

I like the first paragraph where is says prohibited items are seemingly
harmless but maybe used as weapons. They have never had to deal with a
knitting needle rammed through somebodies neck I guess.


You have our complete attention, we are all ears. Do go on.

  #10  
Old November 5th, 2003, 03:11 PM
Binyamin Dissen
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Posts: n/a
Default Encounters with the TSA

On Wed, 5 Nov 2003 13:20:32 GMT Air wrote:

:The message t
:from "None" contains these words:

: ITS NOT GOING TO CHANGE! You are ALWAYS going to find a TSA screener who's
: either on a power trip that day, or just plain on the rag.

:You are saying they have Carte Blanche to do/say whatever they like? No
:security screener should ever be on a power trip. It totally undermines
:the whole purpose of the job and any screener telling a pax "Teach you
:to do it properly next time" should not be there.
:For people to take note and security seriously the TSA needs to be
:professional in their attitude, which includes searching people when
:required behind a screen, not in full view of all and sundry. Discreet
:and behind the scenes, not the show for all.

There are many that post to this group, while attempting to conceal their
name, who really don't fly much. You can pretty much ignore them.

The issue for me is how much time I have.

When I have been quite early for a flight I have no problem taking the effort
to challenge silly things being requested by the TSA agent and calling for his
supervisor.

I am not obscene or violent, so even when/if they call over the police (and,
yes, it has happened) there isn't much that the police can do. I will also
explain to the police that the request was silly and ask them to explain it.

If I am in a rush, and I haven't checked bags (if you check bags they will
hold the flight for you for a while as it takes a lot of time to offload your
luggage) I am less likely to argue.

--
Binyamin Dissen
http://www.dissensoftware.com
 




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