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How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?



 
 
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  #101  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:05 PM
Alliekatt
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"jos boersema" wrote in message
...
(Mean Mr Mustard) wrote:
snip
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?


Forget all that. Just wear an English Premier League football jersey. No
matter where you go, there will be football fans and they will automatically
assume you aren't American. And if they notice that you are, it will be
immediately forgivable seeing as you like football. Just do a quick study
of your team: the best goal player, the best passing player, (as in
Liverpool's Owen and Gerrard), the goalkeeper, the ranking of the team this
year (Liverpool was 4th), and very importantly, the name of the team's
manager (Liverpool just got a new manager for next year). And if you're
really smart you'll learn one of their songs but that's only if you get
caught in a pub full of fans.

Liverpool fans also have a reputation for being psychos, so nobody will tell
you they're a Man United fan unless you're off UK soil, which anyone under
house arrest for hooliganism wouldn't be.

English suits will just make you look like an Eton pouf, which unless you're
hobnobbing with the upper crust will make you an immediate target for blue
collar hate. Don't do it. Also, Liverpool jerseys are very wearable in
Ireland along with Glasgow Celtic, except that a Liverpool jersey has the
added benefit of not attracting a beating by Protestants.

alliekatt


  #103  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:21 PM
BfB
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"westprog" wrote in message
...

snap
Americans are polite, in their own terms (of course, that means something
different in NY to NM).

In fact, most people are polite. They just seem rude to people who come

from
somewhere else.

Take France. (please)

24. Figure out in which parts of Europe waiters expect a tip and in

which
they don't, and how much. In Holland it is not costume, though it

will
be appreciated.


Nobody objects to being tipped, except sometimes the police.

Never could get my hands in my pockets. (what with the handcuffs and all)
BfB


  #104  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:24 PM
Bill Bonde ( ``I could have nailed the St. Helena
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling inEurope?



westprog wrote:



Americans are polite, in their own terms (of course, that means something
different in NY to NM).

In fact, most people are polite. They just seem rude to people who come from
somewhere else.

How could someone who says 'please' and 'thank you' ever be considered
rude? I mean assuming that 'please' doesn't mean 'bugger off, asshole'
in the local language.



24. Figure out in which parts of Europe waiters expect a tip and in which
they don't, and how much. In Holland it is not costume, though it will
be appreciated.


Nobody objects to being tipped, except sometimes the police.

Cows object.


--
"By the life of God, it doth even take my wits from me to think on it!
Here is such controversy between the sailors and the gentlemen, and such
stomaching between the gentlemen and sailors, that it doth even make me
mad to hear it. But, my masters, I must have it left. For I must have
the gentlemen to haul and draw with the mariner and the mariner with the
gentlemen. What! Let us show ourselves all to be of a company and let us
not give occasion to the enemy to rejoice at our decay and overthrow. I
would know him, that would refuse to set his hand to a rope, but I know
there is not any such here." -+Sir Frances Drake
  #105  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:24 PM
BfB
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Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"Ryan B" wrote in message
...

"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
m...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?



What assaults on American tourists? I spend three months a year in Europe
and have never seen this. You should stay home until you grow some balls.
Your disgusting and an embarrassment to all real Americans.

Ryan

I second that one!

BfB


  #106  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:26 PM
BfB
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"Frank White" wrote in message
...

Don't do any of the above. Instead, shave your head, wear
grungy clothes, spill cheap beer all over yourself, talk
REALLY LOUD in an incomprenhsible accent and shout a lot...
And everyone will assume you're just another soccer hooligan
and ignore you.

Except for the police, who may arrest you and beat the snot
out of you on general principles.

FW


The police thing seems to be universal. (not that I have any experince in
that matter)

BfB


  #107  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:28 PM
The Rifleman
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Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


"BfB" wrote in message ...

"westprog" wrote in message
...

"Magda" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 17:41:48 +0100, in rec.travel.europe, Stephen

Glynn
arranged some electrons, so they looked

like
this :

...
... Don't try to confuse Americans by using metric. Twenty five

stone
=
350lb.
...
... Steve

I'm always amazed that they count the *time* like the rest of us...


They don't. Notice how it's 9/11, not 11/9.


That is because it IS 9/11.

BfB

No its 11 / 9/ 2001 the 11th of september 2001



  #108  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:29 PM
Bill Bonde ( ``I could have nailed the St. Helena
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling inEurope?



Ian Phillips wrote:

What do you mean look at our money?

It looks like it came from a game of Monopoly.


My French a lot better and I
spent a week in Nice mostly in French. I was not trying to be a tourist. I
was acting as if I lived in the place I stayed.

Maybe you have never been to Canada as you certainly need some lessons

Vive le Canada!

You a porc chop from Canada?



--
"By the life of God, it doth even take my wits from me to think on it!
Here is such controversy between the sailors and the gentlemen, and such
stomaching between the gentlemen and sailors, that it doth even make me
mad to hear it. But, my masters, I must have it left. For I must have
the gentlemen to haul and draw with the mariner and the mariner with the
gentlemen. What! Let us show ourselves all to be of a company and let us
not give occasion to the enemy to rejoice at our decay and overthrow. I
would know him, that would refuse to set his hand to a rope, but I know
there is not any such here." -+Sir Frances Drake
  #109  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:31 PM
The Rifleman
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Posts: n/a
Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?



English suits will just make you look like an Eton pouf, which unless

you're
hobnobbing with the upper crust will make you an immediate target for blue
collar hate. Don't do it.


Whilst american suits will make you look like a souffl'e,






  #110  
Old June 6th, 2004, 07:32 PM
The Rifleman
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Default How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?


Depends which team. Wear the the wrong jersey in the right area and
you might get Stanleyed!

Craft Knifed, dear, craft knifed, they do do brand names that well )



 




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