How do I avoid looking and acting American while traveling in Europe?

"Bigot" wrote in message
...

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

Hell no!, he didn't walk he minced:-)))))))

Well his real name was Marion .

In article , says...

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?

Don't do any of the above. Instead, shave your head, wear
grungy clothes, spill cheap beer all over yourself, talk
REALLY LOUD in an incomprenhsible accent and shout a lot...
And everyone will assume you're just another soccer hooligan
and ignore you.

Except for the police, who may arrest you and beat the snot
out of you on general principles.

FW

"The Rifleman" wrote in message
...

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 6 Jun 2004 09:49:45 +0100, "The Rifleman"
wrote:



Any other suggestions?

Grow some balls and walk like a man

That is something we Brits would respect.



What is 'walking like a man'? John Wayne?

Nup, Just being honest, truthful proud, decent, law abidding self reliant,
straight talking and dignifide just like 99% of americans.

Now, watch out... Europeans aren't to accepting of this behavior.
It makes them look dishonest, sneaky, biased, lying, racist,
money grubbing, and it also makes them smell, really bad.

BfB

"JohnT" wrote in message
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"Mike O'sullivan" wrote in message
...

"Mean Mr Mustard" wrote in message
m...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion - No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business - When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings - "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking - especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" - Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

11. Lose 200 pounds
12. Eat green vegetables openly
13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.

14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local
currency.
15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout
"fill
the bar".

JohnT

18. Get an insert that makes you look as if you have two teeth.

BfB

"Welsh Witch" wrote in message
news
On Sat, 05 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, Mean Mr Mustard wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion – No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business – When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings – "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking – especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" – Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?
************************************************** **********
Yes!! Why don't you take a Welsh woman with you. They have plenty to say
in a notably different accent from American and would like a trip
abroad:-)
Just don't wear loud check trousers please! AND hey come
on....there is more than one sort of English person and not many of us
would say "fag" at least not unless you're still at school :-)
I think
you're being a bit paranoid loads of us LOVE the sunshine American
people. You'd certainly be very welcome here. Come and have a look at
Wales! Made me smile at your assessment of your compatriots...Have a nice
holiday...
***************************
Since the times I first visited Wales, I've never confused it with anything
English.

BfB

In article , macusr023
@yahoo.com says...
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

That said I'm trying to compile a list of tactics that will prevent me
from being a target:

1. Never dress casual - I figure most Americans can be spotted a mile
away by something "wrong" with their wardrobe. Tailored English suit
should help keep me out of trouble.
2. No shouting or raised voices - Always speak at a level tone
3. Show no emotion =3F No laughing, no smiling, no signs of frustration
or desperation.
4. Do not leave the hotel except for business =3F When the business
meetings are over, head straight back to the hotel and stay there.
5. No American greetings =3F "Hey", "Hi", "Howdy" and "Yo" are banned.
6. No hand gestures when talking =3F especially no pointing
7. Walk upright; do not flail arms too wildly when walking.
8. "Bob's Your Uncle" =3F Rumor has it that this phrase will stop an on
coming mob of hooligans in their tracks but I haven't confirmed this?
9. Correct words - "petrol" instead of "gas" or "fag" instead of
"cigarrette"
10. Little Canadian flag lapel pin - Last resort, but I think the
Europeans would just assume I'm an American trying to fool them with a
little Canadian flag pin.

Any other suggestions?

Put your head into a wood chipper,the transformation is astounding

BWWWWWUUUHHHHHUUUURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

--
==== This is YOUR Britain ====
=== Don't let THEM steal it from you ===

************ www.bnp.org.uk ************

"Maria" wrote in message
...
On 5 Jun 2004 23:15:24 -0700, (Mean Mr Mustard)
wrote:

Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

Please could you cite a a report regarding attacks on American
tourists?

Ugly sentiments sting American tourists
By Marco R. della Cava, USA TODAY
As an A-list celebrity, actor Vince Vaughn employs an array of weapons to
cope with hecklers, from a Saharan wit to a waiting limo.

But during a movie shoot recently in England, Vaughn found himself
repeatedly reaching for the same comeback. Three totemic words from the
attic of history: the Marshall Plan.

"I'd say one in three conversations wound up the same way, basically that
'America is the devil.' So I'd ask folks to think about the Marshall Plan a
bit and get back to me," says Vaughn, 32, referring to the Allied blueprint
for the reconstruction of Europe after World War II. "In the end, though, I
just had to tell people, 'I'm not having this discussion anymore.' "

But if you're heading overseas, be prepared to have it. Again and again. If
the past 100 years were widely considered the American Century, this new one
is fast shaping up as the Anti-American Century.
http://tinyurl.com/6twj

One of thousands.

BfB

On Sun, 06 Jun 2004 07:11:59 -0400, Turlough
wrote:

Mean Mr Mustard wrote:
Unfortunately, I drew the short straw and will be heading to Europe on
a business trip this summer. Now my primary concern is just making
sure I get through this trip and back to the US safely in one piece.
I figure this will be a challenging task with all the reports of
anti-American protests and assaults on American tourists.

Any other suggestions?

Act poor, and wear stuff that Europeans and Canadians, with their high
taxes and defunct economies, can afford.

Wear a ManU t-shirt, and a pair of sandals *with* your socks on. That's
all you need. There's plenty of fat, loud talking, rude Europeans about.

Oh, and put the t-shirt and sandals on at the airport. There's no sense
in grossing out your neighbors and the rest of us, beforehand...

Regards, Harold (Capitalist Pig)
----
The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it.
And one path we shall never choose, and that is
the path of surrender, or submission."
----President John F. Kennedy

Mike O'sullivan wrote:
12. Eat green vegetables openly

Hey! If you mean Brussels sprouts, okay, but we
eat green vegetables that are edible. And my
husband is under the mistaken impression that
Brussels sprouts are edible, too.

13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.

What -does- a middle-class 58 year old woman say?
Toilet? Surely not loo? WC?

In the US, "bathroom" is quite direct and blunt;
most would say, "Can you tell me where the ladies'
room is?" (In a public place--in a house, you'd
say bathroom.)

When my kids were little, the teacher told them to
say lavatory, which I think hilarious, but I geuss
it really means about the same as bathroom.


Bonita

JohnT wrote:
"Mike O'sullivan" wrote in message
...

snip

11. Lose 200 pounds
12. Eat green vegetables openly
13. Don't ask for the bathroom unless you actually need a bath.


14. Don't go into the Bank to complain when the ATM delivers local currency.
15. Order beer in McDonalds, NOT coffee.
16. Carry an umbrella at all time.
17. If you visit England, go into your nearest hostelry (pub) and shout "fill
the bar".

JohnT



18. Learn to eat with a knife and fork when dining in restaurants
rather than cutting the food up into handy bite-sized chunks, putting
the knife on one side, and then skewering the chunks with just your fork.

Steve